Journal+9+-+Sneeze+(Again)

I've always lived on the idea that everyone is selfish. Even when someone is helping someone else, it is because they are selfish. How is something one may ask, but the answer is simple. It's because we //want// to help them. We help them because we think it feels good inside to help them even if we don't get a reward. If it didn't seem like one would obtain anything from the act of supposed selflessness, that one would not help because there is no reward.

Though I do say that there are two branches of selfishness. The first is doing things for materialistic rewards such as working at a job for money. And then there is the second type of selfishness, which is doing things for mental reward, like feeling good about yourself. Of course, the second kind is more "unselfish" than that of the first in my opinion because being materialistic is something that is frowned upon in society. And sadly, I follow them in that thought.

I can give many examples when one is selfish. One is a job, as mentioned earlier. You have this really bad job working in an office cubicle, doing nothing but play Minesweeper and make little pigs with the office supplies. The one thing that keeps you from quitting the is the fact that you will get money.

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After the capture the flag tournament today, I noticed that I am highly competitive. Yes, I had noticed this before, but today showed this again. I wanted to win so bad and created an all defense strategy. Things went bad and that plan faltered. We continued to lose all our games with no points except for when Michelle sneaked by one team and grabbed the flag. Kudos to her. I think that one point kept me from destroying something. During the first game, we were utterly defeated and I lose much hope of doing well. We continued losing because they had surrounded the flag and we didn't have enough people to tag everyone and take them to base.

I tried to defend, but many a time the flag bearer slipped by by just a few feet and I kicked myself madly for it. I even went so far as to put myself in someone's way and get pummeled for the sake of the flag. Sadly, I was not big enough to falter the person very much. Overall, it was a pretty fun tournament and although I did so horribly I guess at least I tried. This just goes to show me that I need to exercise more to make sure I can beat them next time, but my only motive to exercise is to win...